Pride & Pretending
by prongsridesagain
Summary: Sirius Black is getting sick of pretending that he doesn't fancy her but his pride is too strong to admit it. Can he show her he actually cares? Sirius/OC One-Shot


"Are you going to finally snog her?"

Sirius was snapped out of his daydream and right back into reality quite harshly by the sound of Remus' voice. He vaguely noted that he was actually at lunch in the Great Hall and he'd been awkwardly staring into space directly at Gemma O'Malley for the past ten minutes. Thankfully, for him, she hadn't seemed to notice. Though, a few girls that liked to stalk him in the hall did.

"What are you talking about Moony?"

"You and Gemma. You've been playing cat and mouse since last year…it's Halloween tomorrow. Maybe you should stop acting like you aren't bloody fancying the pants off her and ask her to the party."

"I do not fancy the pants off her."

"You do."

"I do not."

"You do Padfoot." James said, cutting in as he shoved a sandwich in his mouth. Sirius just glared at him a little and tossed a crisp in his mouth. "You're in the same boat as me, well, except Lily knows I fancy her. I reckon I'll have her soon enough."

"I'm not in any damn boat, I don't fancy girls…I snog girls. I'm sick of you all telling me how I feel."

Not even bothering to hear them awkwardly apologize or ask what the matter was, Sirius grabbed his books off the table and stomped out of the Great Hall. He couldn't listen to them badger him anymore or he'd go absolutely mad. It wasn't as if he didn't know he fancied the pants off O'Malley, it's just that he didn't want to!

Walking out onto the grounds, he went and sat beneath a tree and lit up a fag. Taking a drag, he puffed the smoke out all the while trying not to think about her. It was like she was everywhere anymore, those damn blue eyes and innocent face. It was as if she was haunting him in some sick way to torture him. He knew he should never go there, never venture into that territory. She wasn't right for him.

When people say they can't be together because of putting someone else in danger, most of the time it's a load of bullshit. But to Sirius, it was the reason he wouldn't get himself trapped within that beautiful Irish girl's charms. He was a Black through and through and he knew that someday, sooner rather than later, he was going to start showing it. He didn't want her anywhere near him when he did, he wanted her safe and happy.

He'd already slipped up once before, almost getting someone killed while hurting a friend in the process. He had never meant Snivellus to actually go looking for Remus on a full moon but he didn't think about it. He recklessly threw all thoughts to the wind and sent Snape to his death. He had failed at being a friend in so many ways that he wondered if he was going to have any left after that. Somehow though, they forgave him.

He wouldn't put Gemma through something like that.

"Sirius?"

He swore under his breath, looking up to see her walking down the hill towards him. She was slipping a little on the wet grass, her balance having to be righted off and on as she finally got to him. He looked at her in her uniform with a warm sensation filling his cheeks. Something he never did. He blushed.

"What are you doing out here? It's damp and cold…you could…you know…get sick or something."

"You're out here, aren't you? You looked upset when you left the hall, I just wanted to see if you were alright."

He pulled off his cloak and sat it on the grass before she sat down. She gave him a small smile. "I'm fine. Really. Just silly shit, you know?"

"I don't, but I'll take your word for it. Here, I brought you some food." She pulled out a sandwich and some crisps from her pocket. They'd been wrapped up carefully and he just shook his head as he took them from her. "You were off somewhere and then you were gone…didn't think you got much to eat."

"You noticed me daydreaming then?"

"I just thought I felt someone staring but then I noticed you were drooling a little so I figured you'd left reality behind for a while."

"Yeah, reality sucks."

"I completely agree."

"Do you mind if I smoke?"

"No, not at all. Go right ahead."

And then they sat there awkwardly. When he was with her it usually escalated into a row because he always tried to somehow inform her he was bad for her. Not that he thought she fancied him, but just in case. Though, someone with her brains, she probably liked Remus or someone like that. Which would be better for her…anything was better for her than him.

" You going to the Halloween party tomorrow?"

"I've never missed one."

"Weren't you a cat last year?"

She laughed, stealing a crisp off his lap and popping it into her mouth. "Yeah, I was. Sad thing that."

"It was cute."

"Oh…thanks." She blushed, a color that complimented her skin beautifully.

_Stop flirting with her you oaf. _Sirius thought to himself, taking another long drag and trying to clear his mind.

"Any idea's for the costume this year?"

"I do, but I doubt anyone will know who I am. It's a muggle fictional character."

"You and your books."

"Can't help it if I like to drift out of reality myself sometimes."

"Touche."

"What are you going as?"

"A secret I will never tell."

"Boys, I swear."

"We are prats, I'll give you that."

She laughed, making him smile as he looked up the hill and saw a small crowd of five of six girls standing there. He knew a few of them because they always seemed to be stalking him around the castle so he just figured they were out here up to no good whatsoever.

"Seems your fan club has come to make sure you aren't up to anything scandalous."

"It takes all my strength not to hex the lot of them."

"I give you credit, Sirius. I would have."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, I mean, Rebecca, the Hufflepuff – she almost hit me with a curse when I left the table earlier. Thankfully it just hit Snape, but they are some mad girls."

"Probably because they thought I was staring at you. My little fan club is a bit scary."

"No kidding. And to think that they all fancy you."

He tried not to show anything on his face to betray his emotions when he looked at her. "What's the matter with fancying me?"

"Other than the fact that you think you walk on clouds and snog anything in a skirt?" She smiled, mischievousness filling her eyes. "No reason."

"You're just jealous."

"Jealous?"

"You want your own fan club. They can all worship your book reading abilities."

"Oh stuff it Black."

"Green is not your color O'Malley."

"I brought you lunch and now you tease me? Can we ever go five minutes without getting under one another's skin?"

"I don't know."

He didn't say it like he wanted to know, he just was curious if he'd ever give up his charade of not trying to fancy her. If he'd ever just tell her that he'd like to try only snogging one girl and not two or three in a week. Not that he did that all the time, but Merlin knows he had a reputation. She deserved a devoted guy in her life, someone stable and safe.

None of those words described him.

It went quiet between them again, her hand sitting so close to his he could easily pick up his pinky and touch her. It felt like it took every ounce of strength he had not to, his head colliding with the tree as if to knock some sense into him. No point with all this turmoil…he'd get over her soon enough. He'd only fancied her for what….11 months? A year? Who knows?

He'd get over her.

"We should be getting to Potions I guess. Slughorn has been in a right mood lately."

"Tell me about it. It's like a walrus with a beehive up his arse."

She snorted, covering her face embarrassed as they stood up. "I guess you could put it like that."

"I'm going to hang back a minute, I'll see you in there?"

"Sure…hope you fix whatever's troubling you soon. You don't smile enough and I like it when you do."

She left him there kind of in a daze, his eyes following her all the way until she passed his admiring twits and into the castle. Had he really not been smiling lately?

"Who're you supposed to be again?" James asked the next night behind his long white beard.

"Mr. Darcy…I have no idea who he is. I'm trying to impress Gemma and Lily helped me."

Sirius looked at himself in the mirror, his body clothed in an odd period muggle costume that made him look like he was from Victorian times or something. He ran a hand through his long black hair, pushing it back before fingering the silver hoop in his ear. Would she even like him like this?

"Well I'm Merlin. Everyone knows Merlin…also I wore specific pants if anyone were to say "Merlin's pants!" See!" James hoisted his robe to show off bright red underpants with lions all over them.

"That's Gryffindor pride taken one step too far there mate."

"Shut it Padfoot, you look like a butler or something."

"I do not."

"You know what book that's from, right?" Remus asked casually, lying on his bed in his normal uniform except for the fact he was wearing Ravenclaw colors.

"Pride & Prejudice."

"Studying up then, are we?"

"Stuff it Moony, you're dressed as a Ravenclaw."

"And who am I?"

"You're Liam MacDonald!" James shouted at Peter, their mate in his favorite quidditch hero's uniform. They were all set.

Walking down into the common room the party was already in gear. Music was floating above them, everyone decked out to the nines in costumes and food and drinks were everywhere. Waiting awkwardly until he saw Lily come downstairs, he walked over and pulled on one of her fairy wings.

"Wow Sirius…you actually look quite dashing."

"Thanks Evans…now where's Gemma? I'm itching in these damned trousers!"

"There goes the dashing part. She'll be down in a second. You know…you'll make the cutest couple once you both wise up and realize it."

Sticking out his tongue at her, he was about to make a snide comment until he saw her. She walked slowly down the steps, her dress held carefully in her hands as if she was some kind of princess. It was modestly cut, though he already had an idea of what she was supposed to look like after a late night brainwash with Lily on Gemma's favorite book. She looked amazing.

"Sirius? You….you…."

"I'm Fitzwilliam Darcy! Terrible name if you ask me, surprised the bloke ever got laid."

"But…how did….I don't understand."

"I was talking to Lily last night…I just thought maybe you'd like a partner to this party. A friend."

"Oh…" she looked almost a little hurt but a smile quickly replaced the frown. "Thankfully I won't be the only one answering who I am all night."

"Nope…Darcy and Lizzie forever."

She smiled so wide he wondered if it hurt. Gemma smelled intoxicating, something like the mix of wild flowers and vanilla…he wanted to just press his nose against her skin and take a deep breath. He was slowly losing any restraint against her and surprisingly, tonight, he didn't really care. Offering his hand, she took it carefully and descended the last two stairs and then came to stand next to him.

"Where did you get the costume so quickly?"

"I have my secrets."

"I don't doubt that."

"You look gorgeous Gemma."

Her blue eyes sparkled at him when she looked up. "That's the first time you've ever called me Gemma."

"Is it?"

"Trust me, it is."

"Now, am I not supposed to act too good for you or something? Wasn't Darcy a twat?"

"Only in the beginning." She laughed, his head held high as he led her towards where everyone was dancing. "He's brilliant by the end."

"Is he now?"

"Absolutely."

"Seems I've got some big boots to fill then."

"You have no idea."

"I guess I've bit off more than I can chew."

"I think you make a very handsome Darcy."

He smiled, lifting her hand to his lips for a chaste kiss that ended up sending shivers down both their spines. He stayed like that, bent and his lips close to her skin for probably too long but they both seemed to just drift out of reality together this time. They were in their own world, dressed in silly costumes and smiling.

He wanted to remember this always. It was something patronuses were made of, her smile. He'd never forget it no matter how long it might be if they were ever apart. One day they'd stop pretending they didn't fancy each other and Sirius knew that if anyone was going to prove that a Black could actually love someone it was going to be her.


End file.
